Mad Mashup/Happy Mother’s Day: Snake Plissken Style

By Jen Posted in Mad Mashups, Snake Plissken MonthNo Comments
12 May

Snake Plissken Mothers Day Card Happy Mother’s Day to all our mothers out there, and happy Snake Plissken Month! I hope everyone’s feathered hair is holding up.

Last week we started a Mad Mashup, which is our version of “Mad Libs.” But in honor of Snake Plissken Month, we Snake-d it.

Snake-ified?

Anyway, all word submissions needed to be descriptive or honorific of Snake Plissken. If you’re unfamiliar with our gentleman of the month, we just wanted a word you’d identify a badass with.

We got enough words to do something special… something for our kick-ass moms:

A Snake Plissken Mother’s Day Card!

Just print out the little card at the top. On the back, hand-write this thoughtful, loving poem that we mashed up and… snakeified. Snaked? Snake-a-roonied?

Whatever. It’s totally touching and stuff.

Our submitted words are:

Snake Plissken Mad Mashup Word Submissions

You may have noticed that I removed a couple of the submissions. I wasn’t sure how they fit in with the Snake Plissken/badass theme. I did, on the other hand, accept “cheeseburger” because I think Snake would have appreciated a cheeseburger during both of his missions.

And here’s how our Mother’s Day poem/Snake Plissken Mad Mashup came out:

Snake Plissken Poem

Great job everyone! I’m feeling the love and I hope you are too. Happy Mother’s Day to all our moms out there!

If you’re enjoying the site, subscribe for more! The RSS link is in the sidebar, and you can also connect with me on Twitter and Facebook.

You can also pick up my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL, about a comically bad necromancer and her talking sacrificial knives. →

Mad Mashup – Snake Plissken Style

By Jen Posted in Mad Mashups, Snake Plissken Month17 Comments
6 May

Plissken Demotivational Welcome back to Snake Plissken Month, where it’s all Snake, all the time. Which you probably gathered by the name, “Snake Plissken Month.”

I’m so subtle.

Anyway, this week we’re going to continue Snake Plissken Month with a little group participation in our very own Plissken-themed Mad Mashup!

If you’re unfamiliar with the Mad Mashup series, it’s our very own “Mad Libs” style game, but named differently so that I don’t get sued. To play, I choose a book to ‘mash up’ and remove a few words. Without having any insight into the text, you provide a random set of words in the comments below. I insert the words into the text and we all have a good laugh.

This month’s Mad Mashup will be just a tad different, because all your words must be Snake Plissken-inspired words of bad-assery. If you aren’t familiar with Snake Plissken, consider it your homework for later. For now, just come up with a word that’s synonymous with badasses.

The rules: Your submission cannot be more than a single word. And for you wise-acres out there, you can use a hyphenated word, but there can only be one hyphen. Also, the word submissions are first-come, first-served. So, if your requested category is full, you’ll have to submit a word for a different category.

I’m also not going to tell you what story we’ll be mashing up. Consider it a little surprise.

For the Snake Plissken Month Mad Mashup word game, we need the following:

  • 8 nouns
  • 8 verbs
  • 8 adjectives
  • 3 human sounds (PG-rated, please)


I know, not a big selection going on there, but they should be fun since they all need to be Snake-themed. Good luck! The finished product will be up on Monday, May 13. →

May is Snake Plissken Month… Redux

By Jen Posted in Snake Plissken Month8 Comments
1 May

Snake Plissken Welcome to our second annual Snake Plissken Month! Here on this website, for the month of May, it will be all Snake Plissken! Plissken feathered hair! Plissken stylish eye patches! Plissken pleather outfits! Plissken death basketball!

Wait—call him Snake.

Are you calling him Snake? Good. Now call him Plissken.

He’s fickle like that.

In case you’re wondering what this is all about, last year I was doing a little research for the Sci-Fi Pinups and I got a computer virus from a Snake Plissken fansite. That was when I decided to create a safe haven for all Snake Plissken fans, so Snake Plissken Month was born.

2012 Snake Plissken celebratory offerings:

Ridiculous Fanfic: Escape from Seattle Part 1
Ridiculous Fanfic: Escape from Seattle Part 2
Ridiculous Fanfic: Escape from Seattle Part 3

And a bonus from the amazingly talented and hilarious Alan Edwards, author of the zombie fantasy novel, The Curse of Troius:

The Tactical Guide to Snake Plissken’s Hair

This month we will revel again in the glory that is Snake Plissken. We shall wear feathered hair, hiss at people, sneer a lot, wear gigantic digital watches, and cruise to work in hang gliders.

Okay, maybe not. But we’re still going to have a lot of fun. So rejoice! Snake Plissken Month is here! Let’s get this party started with a little Bangkok Rules:

And a bonus clip, because this makes me laugh every time:


If you’re here because you read my novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL, sorry for the interruption to the regular blog schedule. In June, I’ll be back with some news and fun extras about the world of Kari Hunter as well as updates on the next book in the series.

Stick around for more SNAKE! Subscribe to the site for more Snake Plissken. You can also follow me on Twitter and Facebook, where I might tweet about Snake. →

Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss April 2013

By Jen Posted in Sci-Fi Pinups8 Comments
30 Apr

Pin Cushion Welcome back to another month of science fiction and fantasy pinups! It’s the segment that I continue to write only because you can’t get enough of it.

Seriously. This series is your geek-crack and I am proud to be your geek-crack dealer.

If you’re unfamiliar with this series, it’s the monthly segment where we pull out the heroes and hotties who exhibit the qualities we love in science fiction—like someone with three mutant breasts or a guy who drives a talking car while wearing a speedo or a superhero with a super suit that no one knows how to use. To catch up on previous pinups, check out the link in the sidebar.

Miss April’s a stunner, and I’m not just talking about her right hook. She has long dark hair, dark eyes, and an amazing body that she keeps in shape through rigorous exercises that mainly consist of beating the crap out of people. Though she looks human on the outside, she’s one hundred percent hot alien babe on the inside. When Miss April isn’t roaming around the galaxy with her motley band of escaped convicts, she can be found planetside, beating the crap out of people or torturing them with her biting sarcasm.

She is…

Aeryn Sun

…Aeryn Sun of Farscape!

Miss April enjoys hand-to-hand combat, large weapons, small weapons, medium-sized weapons, leading the charge, and saving the day. If you want to take Miss April out on the town, bring your flak jacket and a few grenades. She loves grenades.

I had a hard time finding good video clips of Miss April; most of what’s available shows goofy lovey-dovey moments and, since we aren’t interested in those, how about a neat fan tribute video?

I had actually never watched Farscape until it was suggested to me in the comments of a previous pinup. Great show. Super fun. Thanks for the suggestion, Candice Bundy!

Mr. April roams around the medieval countryside as a gigantic, lovable mercenary for hire. He’s big. He’s bold. He could crush you with one hand—and he doesn’t even exercise. He’s the friend who will always stand by your side, ready to dunk you in a water barrel to sober you up. When he isn’t working for evil geniuses or carrying around people who are mostly dead, he’s hard at work on his mad rhymes. He is…

Fezzik

…Fezzik from The Princess Bride!

Mr. April enjoys jogging your mind, sportsmanlike conduct, and storming the castle. If you take him out on the town for a hot date, uh… I don’t know. This guy’s just totally lovable. Seriously. Be happy he’s one of the good guys.

And now for some of his lyrical stylings:

Thanks to Angie Wilt for suggesting this month’s Mr. April!

If you have ideas for more pinups, leave a comment below.

If you’re enjoying the site, subscribe for more! The RSS link is in the sidebar, and you can also connect with me on Twitter and Facebook. You can also pick up my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL, about a comically bad necromancer and her talking sacrificial knives.

Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney. →

Cobra Command Financially Down, But Not Out, Says Evil Empire’s Leadership

By Jen Posted in General5 Comments
17 Apr

G.I. Joe - COBRA LogoSECRET BASE—The Annual Shareholder Meeting at Cobra headquarters was somber as CEO Cobra Commander stood before investors and delivered the bad news: profits were down, and they had won only two battles in the last year. Though the first quarter had shown a significant increase in profits, the next three were riddled with large expenditures and poor management decisions. Analysts cite the determined efforts of Cobra’s evil nemeses, the G.I. Joes, as the key factor in their hardship.

“Real talk, guys,” Cobra Commander said in the midst of his thirty-one slide PowerPoint presentation that detailed their failures. “Winning against the Joes is getting tougher and tougher. They’ve got ‘knowing’ so they’ve already won half the battle. The most we could ever hope to win is the other half.”

But the evil association’s message wasn’t one devoid of hope. Following the dismal financial forecast, Emperor Serpentor took the stage and reiterated the group’s commitment to world domination and defeating “those damned Joes.” He detailed a plan that would put the company back in the black.

“We’re prepared to make sacrifices,” Serpentor told the group, “starting with Bob. You’re toast, pal. We’re also going to cut back on the amount of laser fire during our conflicts. Sure, heavy weapons fire that doesn’t actually hit anything is one of our most effective tactics, but it’s expensive. We’re going to cut back on the laser fire and supplement with laser pointers. I know a guy at a cat toy company who will sell us a bunch for cheap. Third, we’re thinking about moving our headquarters. Destro keeps a close eye on the Internet, and thinks that in Soviet Russia we may defeat the Joes.”

After the formal discussion ended, the Q&A session dissolved into needless finger pointing. “As the leader of this organization, I’m fully aware that the blame for our shortcomings falls solely on the shoulders of one person,” said Cobra Commander, “and that person is Baroness. Wait, did you think I was going to say it’s my fault? Don’t be ridiculous.” The meeting then broke out into a laser gun fight where no one was actually shot.

A high-ranking member of the G.I. Joes who spoke on condition of anonymity said, “We knew Cobra was holding a big meeting, so we sent our best spy to find their secret base and listen in on their plans. Unfortunately our best guy is Snake Eyes and he doesn’t talk, so he couldn’t tell us what was said. I’m sure it was the usual talk about how we suck and they’re going to take over the world. We’re not worried. They don’t even have the biological weapons Doctor Mindbender keeps bragging about. They’re just shell casings loaded with Pop Rocks and Canada Dry.”

A spokesperson for Cobra Command declined to comment. →

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