PinCushion In the NICK OF TIME! I bet you thought I forgot about the monthly pinups. No, I didn’t forget about them at all — I was just having a really tough time choosing.

In this segment, I pick two well-deserving characters from the science-fiction/fantasy universe. If this is your first time checking out the monthly sci-fi pinups, check out our hot selections for January and February.

Until now, we’ve been looking entirely at movie and TV hotties. For this month’s pinups, I wanted a different medium. So I searched through comics, cartoons, and games. Plenty of potentials were available, but the winners were clear.

Miss March isn’t a real woman, she’s AI — artificial intelligence — so she’s better than a woman! If only she had a physical body and more than 7 years to live. Even so, Miss March is well deserving as she can outsmart and out-snark the rest. She is…

Cortana

…Cortana from the Halo series!

Miss March’s turn-ons are big guns, armor plating, and soldiers who like surfing through space on alien bombs. Her turn-offs include hostile alien species and attempts to wipe out humanity. Sure, she gets a little bossy, but that’s part of her charm. If you plan on spending an evening out with Cortana, you should put your affairs in order and notify your next of kin.

And, uh, good luck with that.

I have to admit up front: Mr. March isn’t quite science fiction. However, in all of the mediums I explored, his name rose to the top. Mr. March has all the right moves so I bent the rules and decided to make him an honorary sci-fi pinup. He comes to us from deep forests, swamps, and underground caverns. He fears nothing — not alligators, nor tar pits, nor gigantic scorpions — and when he sees something he wants, he goes for it without hesitation. Mr. March is your ultimate action man. He is…

Pitfall_Harry!

…Pitfall Harry from Activision’s Pitfall! series!

Yes, I had to look up his name in Wikipedia. To be honest, I didn’t even know he had a name. I thought he was simply called “Pitfall Guy”!

Mr. March loves gold and silver bars, money bags, diamond rings, and not being run over by gigantic random tree logs that roll out of nowhere and try to flatten him like a noodle. His turn-offs are falling into holes, getting sucked into tar pits, and being eaten by crocodiles.

If you plan on spending an evening with Mr. March, be sure to bring a backpack and your Indiana Jones hat. And a huge can of bug spray.

How do you feel about this month’s pinups? Do you have suggestions for other pinups? Leave a comment below and let me know!

Pincushion photo courtesy of Steven Depolo.