Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss January 2014

PinCushionHappy New Year, gang! I’ve returned to trot out a new year of sci-fi and fantasy hotties. If this is your first time joining us, welcome! The Sci-Fi Pinups is the monthly segment where I scar you for life with photos of hot space dudes in metal bikinis, three-breasted Martian hookers, and the Hoff in a Speedo.

Somehow, you guys keep coming back for more eye-searing action. (I’m beginning to worry.)

I hope you’re ready for the new year. We’re going to dive right in with the music edition! This month, we’re featuring the songs you know and wish you could forget love.

Miss January comes to us from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. As soon as you’re in her presence, you won’t be able to help but notice her lips and legs that seem to go for miles. She’s performed for tough audiences on planets everywhere, but currently rocks the house on Tatooine, delighting crime lords, bounty hunters, and scoundrels encased in carbonite.

She is…

Sy Snootles
Photo courtesy of Wookiepedia.

…Sy Snootles of Star Wars: Return of the Jedi!

Miss January’s turn-ons include bosses who aren’t strangled to death by chicks in metal bikinis—because how else is she going to get paid? If you take Miss January out on the town, you’d better bring your dancing shoes and be prepared to boogie your buns off.

Just don’t do it over a Rancor pit.

Here’s a clip of Sy doing her thing in Jabba’s palace. The little disco song she sings in the movie is called “Lapti Nek” which means “Work It Out” in Huttese. (Trivia: the song was written by John Williams. Pretty awesome.)



Surprisingly, there’s a lot out on the internet about Sy Snootles and the Max Rebo Band. The Star Wars universe is vast and incredibly detailed, and Sy has a big back story. So, if you want a little more of Miss January, you’re in luck:

Sy Snootles’ story on Wookiepedia

Some goodies:

Okay, it’s time to stop, collaborate, and introduce Mr. January. When good and evil collide in the middle of his club, he takes to the stage and provides the fighting soundtrack. This performer has mad skills, flaunting his moves, his suit, and his crotch. When he isn’t laying down the beats, he’s a private detective or something. Because if there’s a problem, yo, he’ll solve it. (Yes, I’m ignoring your collective groan.)

He is…

Vanilla Ice & Ninja Turtles

…Vanilla Ice from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

Mr. January’s turn-on is hair gel. Lots and lots of hair gel. If you hit the town with Mr. January, avoid flames. Just sayin’. Also, avoid cymbals, because he goes crazy when he hears them.

Okay, I’m done with the puns. Really. Word to your mother.

Here’s Mr. January in action, doing his famous (and cringe-worthy) Ninja Rap from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze:



Of course, if you want a little more Mr. January, you can get it.

  • Here’s a cool Go Ninja Go t-shirt from RedBubble.com. I really love the RedBubble shirts; I just wish they weren’t so damn expensive. Have realistic prices, RedBubble!
  • Also, I found a simple white Ninja Rap shirt with a cool Asian/martial arts style design. I like this one.
  • [ed: she doesn’t know what it is!]
  • Buzzfeed has a silly article on 10 Epic Moments from the Vanilla Ice Ninja Rap Video.
  • There is, for reasons that escape me, a dedicated website called NinjaRap.com. This site includes step-by-step instructions on how to get down like a ninja turtle. The website’s very cheesy (and from the look of it, incredibly old) but it made me giggle.

Stay tuned for more! In the next couple of weeks I’ll have an update on the next Kari Hunter book, which I am flying through. Very excited about this book, guys.

Subscribe to the site for more! The links are in the sidebar, and you can follow me on Twitter and Facebook.

Pincushion photo courtesy of Steven Depolo. Continue reading

Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss November

Pin Cushion Stop your grinnin’ and drop your linen—it’s time for the Sci-Fi Pinups!

If this is your first time joining us, welcome! This is the monthly segment where we celebrate the hunks and hotties of the science fiction and fantasy world—the strong men and women with the guts, guns, and green skin to prove they’re the best and baddest. They ain’t your momma’s pinups.

Unless you have my mom. She’s pretty awesome.

For more pinups, check out our previous submissions.

Since I’m late on the pinups once again (gah), let’s just jump right into it!

Miss November hails from good, normal British stock—and don’t you dare look down on her for that. She’s loyal, brave, and is a fast draw with her wand. She can do everything a boy can do, except figure out a magic spell for manageable hair. When you’re in a jam and don’t know how to get out, never fear—her love of libraries has made her brain an encyclopedia! There’s never a problem she can’t solve with her books and big noggin. But before you scream, “Nerd alert!” let me assure you that she’s seen quite a few fights and never backs down from anything or anyone. The only thing bigger than her heart is her patronus.

She is…

Hermione Granger

…Hermione Granger from Harry Potter!

If you’ve never heard of Miss November, you must have been living under a rock for the last fifteen years. You should make yourself acquainted with our Miss November immediately! She’s strong, she’s brave, and she’s smart—everything we like in our sci-fi ladies. None of that whining, crying, hiding under the bed for her! And if you try that kind of behavior in her presence, she’ll pull you out by your hair and turn you into something awful. Believe me, she can do it.

Here’s a little more in case you can’t get enough of Miss November:

Moving on!

Mr. November comes to us from Astoria, Oregon. Like Miss November, he’s locked and loaded and always packing for a fight. At first glance, you’ll think he’s dressed like a young flasher-in-training, but once he shows you what he’s packing under his trench, you’ll change your mind faster than you can say “Pincers of Peril.” When the chips are down and his crew’s in danger, he’ll stand in the gap and whip out his contraptions. Hopefully they won’t punch him in the face first. Mr. November sticks with his friends to the end and never says die.

He is…

Data - The Goonies

…Data from The Goonies!

I realize this movie’s super old and you probably haven’t seen it in a long time, but it’s so good. And Mr. November is great! He uses his brains and his heart to overcome adversity… and score some pirate treasure.

In case this just isn’t enough of Mr. November for you (of course it isn’t!) here’s a little more:

Thanks for joining me for another month of Sci-Fi Pinups. I hope it brought you a little smile. If you like what you see and want a little more, pick up a copy of my bestselling comic urban fantasy novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL.

Subscribe to the site for more! The links are in the sidebar, and you can follow me on Twitter and Facebook.

Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney. Continue reading

Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss September

Pin Cushion Grab your 20-sided dice and a giant bag of Funyuns—it’s time for the science fiction and fantasy pinups of September! If this is your first time joining us for the pinups, welcome! This is the monthly segment where we ogle two hot specimens that will certainly set your phasers to stun, if you know what I’m sayin’!

Yeah, I don’t know what I’m saying either.

Anyway, the pinups are hot and ready for action! If you’d like to catch up on previous pinups, click the Sci-Fi Pinups link in the sidebar. (Our list of hotties started in January 2012, so if you want to peruse you’d better go to your bunk.)

Miss September is the girl next door from the rainy city of Seattle. She’s so adorable and such a sweetheart that you’ll offer to hack into the school computers to raise her grades. But don’t let her catch you doing it—her high moral standards will make you change it right back. Her turn-ons include talking computers, leg warmers, and bombing Las Vegas. Turn-offs include global thermonuclear war.

She is…

WarGames - Jennifer

…Jennifer Mack from War Games!

Isn’t she adorable? I confess, this month’s female pinup was largely inspired by the book Ready Player One, a must read for nerds like me. There are a ton of ’80’s references and trivia, and War Games gets a major shout out. (Not going to spoil it for you, so if you want to know more, click the link and read the book!)

And now, here’s a clip of the iconic scene that shows Miss September (and Joshua the computer) being adorable.


Shall we play a game?

And now for Mr. September! He was born on a battlefield, and the lust for adventure and mayhem took hold of him right from the womb. His days are spent wandering around the land, enjoying local cultures and making friends—and then pillaging the towns, strangling their kings, and becoming their ruler. That’s ambition, ladies! His turn-ons include oiled biceps, leather codpieces, and the lamentations of women. Turn-offs include nothing. Mr. September is always on.

He is…

Conan the Barbarian

…Conan the Barbarian! With sword placement that isn’t at all phallic!

If you head out on the town with Mr. September, bring your sword and your loincloth and prepare for a night of romance and pillaging.

As an added bonus, a very talented individual created Conan the Barbarian: The Musical! It’s a song from Conan to you. Pay special attention to the 2:09 mark for the best part of the song. Seriously. I watched that part ten times and nearly died laughing.

Thanks for joining us for this month’s pinups! If you like what you see and want a little more, pick up a copy of my bestselling comic urban fantasy novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL.

Subscribe to the site for more! Link is in the sidebar, and you can follow me on Facebook or Twitter. Next week, we’ll post another episode in our “Choose Your Own Adventure” style story, THE CURE. So stick around for more!

Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney. Continue reading

Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss August 2013

Pin Cushion Welcome back to another episode of science fiction pinups, the monthly segment where I reveal my ancient age by featuring old and obscure characters you’ve probably never heard of but really should know.

In related news, get off my lawn.

If this is your first time to the site, welcome! There are more pinups every month, and you can find other humor and satire in the other categories. At the moment, we’re running a Choose Your Own Adventure-style story where you choose the next step. It isn’t comedy, but it is exciting. And, of course, you’re welcome to join in the fun. So stick around! If you like what you see and want a little more, I also wrote a bestselling comic urban fantasy novel.

And now, without further ado, let’s announce the pinups!

Mr. August is a rags-to-riches story of a not-so-humble man who became a professional wrestler and then a porn superstar. After that, his ascension to President of the United States was practically guaranteed. He’s a man of the people, working hard to cure the problems of his mighty nation.

He is…

President Camacho House of Representin

President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho from Idiocracy!

In case you’re wondering, that’s an action shot of Mr. August giving his State of the Union Address at the House of Representin’.

Mr. August’s turn-offs are water, when everyone’s sh*t gets emotional, and reading. His turn-ons include the smartest person in the world doing his job for him, crushing the smartest person in the world with monster trucks when he isn’t doing that job fast enough, and Brawndo the Thirst Mutilator—it’s got electrolytes!

I went looking for some videos of Mr. August in action, but most of the videos have been removed due to copyright. However, I found something almost as good. Funny or Die has published new speeches by President Camacho.

Please be warned, these are not safe for work – they contain profanity… and a little insanity.

http://www.funnyordie.com/embed/23018ada16

Welcome to Costco. I love you.

Miss August is a hottie out to save the world. She stands for what’s right and isn’t afraid to kick a little ass—even if she isn’t wearing pants. Demons don’t scare her, nor does darkness nor mortal danger. All she wants is to save a child from the minions of hell and have peace on earth. Nothing can stop her… save for being tied up in toilet paper.

She is…

Kee Nang - The Golden Child

…Kee Nang from The Golden Child!

Miss August’s turn-ons include goofy men who like kids and not getting killed. Her turn-offs include kid-snatchers, demons who can’t pronounce the letter “j,” and toilet paper.

Here’s a video of a pantsless Miss August in action:

Thanks for joining me for another episode of sci-fi pinups! To catch up on previous pinups, check out the link in the sidebar. And don’t forget, next week we’ll have the next episode of our Vote Your Adventure story, THE CURE!

Subscribe to the RSS feed in the sidebar, or follow me on Facebook or Twitter.

Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney. Continue reading

Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss July 2013

Pin Cushion Good news, gang! I bought a new calendar so that I won’t forget to announce our monthly sci-fi pinups… though I’ll totally procrastinate working on them anyway.

But hey, at least I won’t have an excuse.

And with that, welcome back to the Science Fiction & Fantasy Pinups, the monthly segment that’s almost always on time. Once a month we comb through the list of hotties and naughties and hard-rock bodies to crown the cream of the crop. But of course, it’s the sci-fi pinups, so they’re not exactly your momma’s Chippendales or your papa’s Playboy Playmates.

They’d be green-skinned Chippendales. With tentacles and laser beam eyes. And that would be hot. And the sci-fi version of Playboy Playmates would be whatever Captain Kirk takes his shirt off for.

Which is everything with legs.

So let’s get to it and announce our winners for July!

Mr. July is a sales clerk at a sporting goods store by day, and a jump-starter of evil undead apocalypses by night. He’s an experienced time traveler, renaissance man, and a total lady killer.

As long as that lady is the rotting undead spawn of hell and trying to rip off his face. Otherwise, he’s slightly awkward with the female gender.

Mr. July is…

Ash Williams - Army of Darkness

…Ash Williams from The Evil Dead!

Mr. July’s turn-ons include great values on home goods, his Boomstick, chainsaw hands, and hot women who first want to kill him and later want to kiss him. Turn-offs include his evil doppelganger, the undead, and memorization.

If you head out on the town with Mr. July, just remember: Klaatu Verata Nicto. You just might need it.

Here’s a clip of Mr. July not remembering the words and subsequently summoning the apocalypse, in the form of an evil undead army:

Hail to the king, baby.

Miss July may be a beauty for hire, but there’s no question that she’s her own woman. She’s smart, cultured, sharp-tongued, and knows how to be your perfect companion. This stunning beauty spends her time wandering the ‘verse with her rag-tag group of felony friends, seeing the sights, visiting her clients, and meeting interesting criminals. But don’t be fooled by her high manners and feminine wiles. She’ll cut you down to size with a pistol or one of her biting one-liners.

She is…

Inara Serra - Firefly

…Inara Serra from Firefly!

Miss July’s turn-ons include respect, honor, and ruggedly handsome spaceship captains who hide their feelings with biting one-liners. Her turn-offs include ruggedly handsome spaceship captains who hide their feelings with biting one-liners.

Now, I went looking for a great Inara video but couldn’t find much. People seem to be more interested in making fan tribute videos with crappy, sappy music behind them. I’ll make up for it by giving you guys another picture of our favorite companion.

Inara Serra - Firefly

And, of course, last month I promised I’d find some pinups swag for our gentlemen readers. And it just so happens that there’s some cool Firefly stuff out there. Think Geek has awesome posters of the Serenity women. Also, I found a pretty sweet peg doll set of the Firefly crew, lavender vanilla flavored Inara lip balm, a super groovy Inara t-shirt, and a funny t-shirt.

Thanks for stopping by! Stay tuned for next week when we continue THE CURE, our Choose Your Own Adventure-style series where you vote for the next step in the story. Subscribe to the RSS feed in the sidebar, or follow me on Facebook or Twitter.

Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney. Continue reading

Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss June 2013

Pin Cushion Sorry that the pinups are a little late, gang. For some reason I thought today was June 30.

In related news, I don’t know how to read a calendar.

And just to remind you, I’m doing a Q&A! Ask me anything you want to know about my comedy urban fantasy series, future book projects, personal things about myself, writing, my cat, general advice… whatever. I’m answering any and all questions unless they’re spoilers of the next Kari Hunter book. Just post them in the comment section below last week’s post, Tweet me, post it on my Facebook page, or send me a note through my contact box in the sidebar.

I couldn’t resist some early questions on Twitter.

Soup

Someone even asked me for dinner recommendations! You better believe I delivered.

Questions are due to me by July 5 and the Q&A list will be posted here on the site July 8. So ask away!

Alright now, let’s get down to brass tacks. You came here for hunks and hotties and that’s what you’re going to get!

In case this is your first time joining us for the Sci-Fi Pinups, this is the monthly segment that’s actually monthly when I’m not calendar-inept, and we feature science fiction and fantasy babes that normally don’t get the recognition they deserve. As with all leading ladies and gents, remember—they’re too hot to handle, so look but don’t touch.

Because licking your computer monitor is nasty. Seriously, when was the last time you wiped this off?

And now say hello to our pinups!

Mr. June comes from outer space in the far, far future… where, apparently, they’ve lost the technology to create hair gel. He’s the product of a long breeding program which makes him the sexiest guy on his planet and is the envy of levitating, skin-fungus-plagued rulers everywhere. Mr. June is virile. He’s rich. He’s psychotic. He likes to be shirtless. He’s also royalty, which puts him in control of many things. Just not the spice.

He is…

Fayd - Dune

Feyd-Rautha from Dune!

Mr. June’s turn-ons include metal underpants, going shirtless, and the spice. Turn-offs are House Atreides, the Kwisatz Haderach, and pants.

Here’s a little fan-made video of Feyd. It cracked me up so I must include it:

Should you take Mr. June out for a night on the town, bring a hat. Seriously. Dat hair.

And now for our leading lady!

I hope you can keep up with Miss June because she’s got legs and she knows how to use ’em. As a full-time professional competitive eater and part-time ghost hunter, she’s always on the go, never stopping. And I mean that quite literally. She never stops. Though she’s running her legs and her mouth 24/7, she always looks fine in the big red bow atop her bald head and matching red lipstick. What a lady! She is…

Ms. Pac-Man

Ms. Pac-Man from… You know what? If you don’t know who Ms. Pac-Man is, you’ve been living under a rock. She’s awesome. That’s who she is.

Miss June’s turn-ons include cherries, strawberries, oranges, pretzels, apples, pears, and bananas. Turn-offs are the nights Pac-Man won’t take her dancing.

Miss June isn’t really a movie star, so I’m giving you something better than a clip:

Ms. Pac-Man swag!

Atari - Ms. Pac-ManAtari has a few vintage t-shirts left, if anyone’s interested. Large only. Ah, nostalgia on a lovely sheet of cotton. I like this one, just for its authenticity. Straight from the makers themselves. Get this today before it ends up with the E.T. cartridges.

RedBubble - MsPacMan Shirt! This awesome t-shirt is available through RedBubble.com. It comes in a bunch of colors and styles, including girly fit and regular/men’s. I’m becoming a big hoarder of geek t-shirts and I would absolutely wear this.

Applique Onesie! Holy crap! For you parents out there, Etsy seller NaptimeInspirations put this adorable applique on a onesie!

Does anyone out there have a kid? Because I will buy this for your mini-geek. It’s that adorable.

There are also a bunch of other Ms. Pac-Man items on Etsy if anyone’s interested, including a cool glass ghost bead necklace, an adorable skirt (I’m not sure I’m brave enough to wear it, but it’s super cute), cupcake toppers, a rad wristlet keychain (yeah, I said “rad”—we’re talking about the 80’s, right?), hand-painted high heels, and more.

I wish there was more swag for you cool dudes out there, but we’re talking about wearing the emblem of a big yellow chick with a bright red bow on her bald noggin. Next month, I’ll offer up some macho swag just for you. I promise.

And in case you’re wondering, no one is paying me to promote their Ms. Pac-Man swag. I just thought it was a fun idea.

If you had a good time with today’s post and want more laughs, pick up my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL, about a comically bad necromancer and her talking sacrificial knives. Both ebook and paperback are available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney. Continue reading

Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss April 2013

Pin Cushion Welcome back to another month of science fiction and fantasy pinups! It’s the segment that I continue to write only because you can’t get enough of it.

Seriously. This series is your geek-crack and I am proud to be your geek-crack dealer.

If you’re unfamiliar with this series, it’s the monthly segment where we pull out the heroes and hotties who exhibit the qualities we love in science fiction—like someone with three mutant breasts or a guy who drives a talking car while wearing a speedo or a superhero with a super suit that no one knows how to use. To catch up on previous pinups, check out the link in the sidebar.

Miss April’s a stunner, and I’m not just talking about her right hook. She has long dark hair, dark eyes, and an amazing body that she keeps in shape through rigorous exercises that mainly consist of beating the crap out of people. Though she looks human on the outside, she’s one hundred percent hot alien babe on the inside. When Miss April isn’t roaming around the galaxy with her motley band of escaped convicts, she can be found planetside, beating the crap out of people or torturing them with her biting sarcasm.

She is…

Aeryn Sun

…Aeryn Sun of Farscape!

Miss April enjoys hand-to-hand combat, large weapons, small weapons, medium-sized weapons, leading the charge, and saving the day. If you want to take Miss April out on the town, bring your flak jacket and a few grenades. She loves grenades.

I had a hard time finding good video clips of Miss April; most of what’s available shows goofy lovey-dovey moments and, since we aren’t interested in those, how about a neat fan tribute video?

I had actually never watched Farscape until it was suggested to me in the comments of a previous pinup. Great show. Super fun. Thanks for the suggestion, Candice Bundy!

Mr. April roams around the medieval countryside as a gigantic, lovable mercenary for hire. He’s big. He’s bold. He could crush you with one hand—and he doesn’t even exercise. He’s the friend who will always stand by your side, ready to dunk you in a water barrel to sober you up. When he isn’t working for evil geniuses or carrying around people who are mostly dead, he’s hard at work on his mad rhymes. He is…

Fezzik

…Fezzik from The Princess Bride!

Mr. April enjoys jogging your mind, sportsmanlike conduct, and storming the castle. If you take him out on the town for a hot date, uh… I don’t know. This guy’s just totally lovable. Seriously. Be happy he’s one of the good guys.

And now for some of his lyrical stylings:

Thanks to Angie Wilt for suggesting this month’s Mr. April!

If you have ideas for more pinups, leave a comment below.

If you’re enjoying the site, subscribe for more! The RSS link is in the sidebar, and you can also connect with me on Twitter and Facebook. You can also pick up my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL, about a comically bad necromancer and her talking sacrificial knives.

Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney. Continue reading

Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss March 2013

Pin Cushion Well that was a heck of a blogging break. I have to admit, it was a little like Gilligan’s Island—it started as a three-hour tour…

But thanks for indulging me, gang. I suppose I just needed the brain-break. Tonight, I wrote up my two-month blogging plan. I have to get back into shape because next month is Snake Plissken Month.

Can’t miss Plissken month.

So stick around, because we’ve got some fun things brewing—a giveaway of my debut novel THE FOURTH CHANNEL (a #1 comic fiction bestseller—sounds strange to say), updates on its sequel, and possibly a new Vote Your Adventure. More on that later.

Right now, it’s time for the sci-fi pinups! If this is your first time joining us for the pinups, this is the monthly segment where we proudly name the hotties of the science fiction and fantasy universe, then shine a spotlight on their green skin and tentacles.

Or something.

Mr. March is a lean, mean fighting machine. Formerly a public servant, Mr. March now spends his time traversing alternate universes looking for other versions of himself… to kill. Turn-ons include spouting cheesy one-liners, hot girls who keep explosive rats in their high-heels, and hugging police officers with motorcycles. His turn-off is being number Two.

He is…

The One

…Yulaw from The One!

Here’s a short clip of Mr. March in action. Skip to 0:24 for the most hilarious line in the movie. Er, I mean serious. Very serious. You don’t think he heard me say that, do you?


Moving on before I get my butt kicked!

Miss March is a strong woman in uniform. She’s the only female officer among a crew of men, and she’s a total team player. Her turn-ons are cute alien children, being hired for Earth-bound acting gigs, and not being transported light-years away onto alien spacecraft. Turn-offs include cute alien children who turn out to be psychotic butchering murderers, not getting paid, and repeating a ship’s computer. Miss March has one job, and it’s stupid, but she’s gonna do it, okay?

She is…

Gwen DeMarco - Galaxy Quest

…Gwen DeMarco from Galaxy Quest!

If you head out on the town with Miss March, be sure to bring an extra beryllium sphere. It will save you the trouble of dangerous missions where crewmen without surnames are sure to be killed.

I couldn’t find my favorite clips of Miss March in action, but this one is good, too. It’s a great movie. Highly recommended.


If you’re enjoying the site, subscribe for more! The RSS link is in the sidebar, and you can also connect with me on Twitter and Facebook. You can also pick up my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL, about a comically bad necromancer and her talking sacrificial knives.

Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney. Continue reading

Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss February 2013

Pin Cushion It’s time to announce the Sci-Fi pinups of February—and just in the nick of time, since there are only a few hours left in February. Choosing this month’s leading pair was tougher than I expected. With so many sexy hunks and gorgeous hotties to interview, this was no quick and easy decision. I’ve been swimming in hunks and hotties, working my way to the top of the list.

It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it.

Our first order was choosing our Mr. February. He’s a distinguished and adventurous man, someone who has seen firsthand the perils of space travel, as he lives and works there every day. (That’s because he’s trapped on a spaceship and can’t escape.) Mr. February’s looks will appeal to all, with his shiny, hard body, shirtless and glistening in oil. And he smells like gumballs. Sexy. What Mr. February lacks in height he makes up in personality and color. He is…

Tom Servo

…Tom Servo from Mystery Science Theater 3000!

Mr. February’s turn-ons are being told that he’s tall, pretending that he’s tall, and when everyone else walks on their knees. Turn-offs include mad scientists who force him to watch terrible movies and mad scientists’ mothers who force him to watch terrible movies. If you want to take Mr. February out on a date, you’re screwed because he’s stuck in space. You’re better off putting a poster of him on your wall and calling it good.

And now, for a bonus—here’s Tom Servo’s theme song!

And now, allow me to introduce you to Miss February! She’s beautiful, feisty, and too hot to handle. Literally. She might melt your skin off. But don’t let that dissuade you—she really is a sweetheart, and I know she’d feel badly about it afterward. Miss February spends most of her time fighting evil and saving the world from certain doom. Well, except for that one time when she single-handedly brought about Armageddon, devastating the earth with her hotness. And by hotness I mean awesome pyrokinetic powers. But like I said, she felt really, really badly about it after. She is…

Liz Sherman

…Liz Sherman from Hellboy!

If you head out on the town with Miss February, take a fireman’s jacket and a fire extinguisher. And a pair of adult diapers. Here’s a shot of Miss February in action. Skip straight to the 1:45 mark to see her hotness in action. And by hotness, I mean face-melting. If she were in a duel with the Ark of the Covenant, I’m not sure who would win.

If you’re enjoying the site, subscribe for more! The RSS link is in the sidebar, and you can also connect with me on Twitter and Facebook. You can also pick up my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL, about a comically bad necromancer and her talking sacrificial knives.

Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney. Continue reading

Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss January 2013

Pin Cushion Hey gang, I apologize for the lack of updates. January has been a crazier month than I had expected. If you want to hear from me more often, I’m active on Twitter, and I’m also putting more effort into my Facebook page. Facebook is a little weird though, so if you want to follow me there, you’ll have to click the “like” button AND click the setting that subscribes you to all of my updates.

I have so much to tell you and I plan to give you a full update soon. In short, things are going well, especially with my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL. And I couldn’t have done it without you guys. I’m on top of the world right now.

Speaking of my book, it’s brought some new folks to the blog! So before we move on, I want to say welcome to all of the new readers. I’m thrilled to have you here. I hope you enjoy what we have in store for you.

Now, it’s a new year and that means a whole new calendar of hot science fiction and fantasy pinups. And we’ve got a whole new sexy pin-on-pincushion photo.

You’re welcome.

If this is your first time joining us for the sci-fi pinups, feel free to peruse the previous months via the link under “Categories” on the sidebar. And forgive me for all of the puns you’re about to see.

And now, without further ado, let’s introduce this month’s pinups!

Miss January is hypnotic and robotic, coming to us from the far future. Though she was originally created to help wipe out humanity, you can forgive her for that because she’s super hot. Also, she’s capable of ripping your head off with her bare hands. Best not to anger her. She is…

Terminator Cameron - Sarah Connor Chronicles wallpaper

…Cameron, the T-900 Series Terminator from The Sarah Connor Chronicles!

Miss January’s turn-ons are kicking ass, taking names, shooting people, breaking legs, and guys named John Connor. Her turn-offs include people trying to kill John Connor, unless she was reprogrammed by Skynet, in which case it’s not being able to kill John Connor. Also, she hates people trying to steal her leather jacket. I wouldn’t try it if I were you.

If you head out on the town with Miss January, remember to bring your laptop and an iron-clad escape plan.

For more of Miss January, watch this tribute video from one of her fans. Warning: bad music ahead.

Mr. January also has a nifty suit, but it’s not exactly a hyperalloy endoskeleton. Some crazy aliens gave it to him as a gift. While it can grant amazing superpowers to its wearer, Mr. January lost the instruction manual. Oops! Mr. January’s turn-ons are flying in a straight line, crash helmets, and saving the world. Turn-offs are bad guys, crashing into everything, and aliens who won’t give him a second copy of the instruction manual. He is…

The Greatest American Hero!

…Ralph Hinkley from The Greatest American Hero!

Honestly, I had to pick Ralph Hinkley at some point, because this show was a big inspiration for my novel. True story. A guy who has no idea how to use his superpower and must learn through trial and error? Absolutely. I heard Nathan Fillion would be interested in starring in a reboot of this show.

YES PLEASE.

If you head out on the town with Mr. January, I suggest hitting the hair salon. Because, sadly, not even a crazy awesome super-suit can fix that crazy pubic hair on his head.

For more on Mr. January, here’s a fan-made montage. For those who have never seen the show, it’s a little long. For those of us who love it, it’s a bit of nostalgia.

If you’re enjoying the site, subscribe for more! The RSS link is in the sidebar, and you can also connect with me on Twitter and Facebook. You can also pick up my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL, about a comically bad necromancer and her talking sacrificial knives.

Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney. Continue reading