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The Ruth Valley Missing Mad Mashup – Completed!

By Jen Posted in Mad Mashups8 Comments
10 Feb

The Ruth Valley Missing Last week we started a new Mad Mashup, which is our own version of a “Mad Lib” style game—except our name is better because I don’t go to jail! I choose a book to “mash up” and remove a few of the words. Without having any insight into the text, you provide a random set of words. I put the words into the text. Hilarity ensues.

OR DOES IT? You’re about to find out.

The book we’re playing with this month is a fun comic mystery called THE RUTH VALLEY MISSING by Amber West. It’s been in the Top 100 Comic Fiction charts on Amazon for a couple of months now. I’m such a big fan of this book and author that I’m giving away a Kindle copy to one of our word submitters.

We assigned every commenter a number in the order that they posted. Random.org gave us our lucky winner… (drum roll)…

…William!

Check your email, William! Your Kindle copy of THE RUTH VALLEY MISSING will be there soon.

And now, on with the game! The words you provided were:

TRVM Word Submissions

How did we do? Decide for yourself:

TVRM Mad Mashup #1
TVRM Mad Mashup #2

Great job mashing up THE RUTH VALLEY MISSING, everybody! Now that we’ve done a couple of these games, I’ve decided that, going forward, I’m going to be allowing more word submissions, instead of cutting off entries. It just seems like a lot of people are having fun with this and seem bummed when they don’t get their words in on time. I’m really looking forward to more of these games, and I hope you are, too.

If you would like a copy of THE RUTH VALLEY MISSING, it’s available on Kindle and paperback. This month, all proceeds from sales of the book are going toward treatment for a cancer patient who needs some financial assistance. You can find out more about this very worthy cause at Amber’s site, A Day Without Sushi.

About THE RUTH VALLEY MISSING:

Jameson Quinn is sick of trying to find herself in the big city. After a gallery opening ends in a trip to the ER and an argument with her self-involved boyfriend, she decides to take off for the peace and quiet of a small town—Ruth Valley. The small town has everything Brooklyn lacked: simple people, peaceful surroundings, and a feeling of safety. Jameson even finds the perfect house to rent from the town’s most eligible bachelor, Sheriff Jack. Life is finally headed in a promising direction. But something isn’t right. A young man is mysteriously injured, then disappears—and Jameson finds he isn’t the only person to suddenly vanish. The suspicious behavior of an abrasive nun and a creepy priest set her off on an investigation of what’s really happening. Will she figure out the secrets of Ruth Valley before she’s the next to go missing?

If you like what you’re seeing here at JenKirchner.com, you can subscribe for more: the RSS link is in the sidebar, and you can also connect with me on Twitter and Facebook. You can also pick up my new book about a comically bad necromancer and her talking sacrificial knives. THE FOURTH CHANNEL is available as an ebook on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble. →

Mad Mashup: The Ruth Valley Missing

By Jen Posted in Mad Mashups37 Comments
4 Feb

The Ruth Valley Missing Last month, we played a game based on “Mad Libs.” I took an excerpt from a fantasy novella called Dreamwalker, removed a few words, and let you fill in the blanks.

The result was amazing.

Based on the comments and tweets that I received, you guys had a great time playing, so we’re going to make this a regular segment. However, we can’t call it “Mad Libs” since that’s a trademark name, so I asked you all for suggestions. Erma Gerd had the simplest suggestion with “Mad Mashup,” which a few people liked, so that’s what we’re going with. Runner-up names were “Crazy Ad Lib Crazy Novel Wacky Novel Holy Word Replacements Batman! Jen Takes Words out of a Novel and You Put New Ones In” from Brian Ronk and “Phat Phonics Dench Impromptu Dench Verses Mad Sub Verses” from John McBurney.

Mad Mashup it is!

This month’s mashup will be performed on a comic mystery called “The Ruth Valley Missing.” It’s a great book. If you enjoyed my novel, then you’ll love this—just remove the magic from my book and add a little more mystery, and you’ve basically got THE RUTH VALLEY MISSING.

Here’s my own description of the book:

Jameson Quinn is sick of the bright lights, fast living, and self-centered people of the big city. After a bad night with her jerky boyfriend, she throws in the towel and leaves it behind for a new life in the tiny town of Ruth Valley.

But first, she steals her boyfriend’s favorite shoes.

In Ruth Valley, Jameson finds more than she expected—a welcoming community, a handsome sheriff, and new friends. But not all is as it seems. Jameson discovers that the residents have a strange habit of disappearing in the middle of the night, leaving families and friends behind. As Jameson delves deeper into the disappearances, her investigation does not go unnoticed. She must solve the mystery or become the next of the Ruth Valley Missing.

It’s a fantastic book. I like it so much that I am giving away an ebook copy. If you want to win, all you have to do is post your word submission for the Mad Mashup in the comments below.

If you want to play but don’t want to enter the giveaway, all you have to do is make the (private) email address on your comment something like NoBookPleaseNoBookPlease #AT# ERMAGHERDBERK.com. Or whatever. Just make it clear by your email address that you don’t want to enter the giveaway. Please note: The Ruth Valley Missing ebook is only available for Kindle.

THE RULES

  1. Your words must be PG rated. This is a family-friendly blog. Mostly.
  2. There are a limited number of nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc. Pick one type and submit your suggestion for that type of word.
  3. Once all of a category of word is chosen (say we have 5 suggestions for adjectives) then you have to pick another category.
  4. On Friday, I will post the story excerpt with our goofy words inserted, and announce the winner to THE RUTH VALLEY MISSING giveaway! (The winner will be chosen by a random number generator. Numbers will be assigned in order of commenting. If someone has opted out of the giveaway, we’ll skip them and continue with the next entrant. Don’t I sound formal?)


Now remember: the only way this game is going to work is if you ignore your innate lurker tendencies and post a word below. So please participate! You can use a code name if you’d prefer not to use your own.

For THE RUTH VALLEY MISSING Mad Mashup, we need the following words:

  1. Sports equipment: 2 words (all taken!)
  2. Body part: 2 words (all taken!)
  3. Verb: 11 words (all taken!)
  4. Adjective: 2 words (all taken!)
  5. Profession: 1 word (all taken!)
  6. Direction: 1 word (all taken!)
  7. Noun: 4 words (all taken!)

UPDATE: We have all of our words… and then some! If you still would like to enter the contest to win a free Kindle copy of THE RUTH VALLEY MISSING, post a comment below letting me know!


Post your suggestions in the comments below! Then come on back Monday, February 11, to read our RUTH VALLEY MISSING Mad Mashup! →

News, Thank-Yous, and a Request for Help

By Jen Posted in General8 Comments
27 Jan

Hey gang—I apologize for the lack of funnies on the site today. I have some important things to share… and I can’t promise that I’m not going to get a little misty-eyed. (Sorry in advance.) I promise you’re going to get a new Predator mash-up later this week. First, we have to talk.

First of all, I want to thank everyone who came out to support the release of my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL. The book has been out for seven weeks now. Back when I was getting ready to release TFC, nearly a dozen author friends came out of the woodwork, offering to feature my book on their blogs. I also had more than a half-dozen book bloggers who agreed to read and review my book. Okay, the publicity was a pittance in comparison to the fanfare Jim Butcher gets, but I was thrilled!

Sadly, when I released my book, almost all of the support disappeared. The only promotional support I had came from two of my close author friends, Candice Bundy and Steven Montano. I had none of the professional promotion the “experts” said I was supposed to have.

But something unexpected happened. And I admit that I’m getting a little teary as I write this, but it must be said:

You guys game out in full force and bought my book.

This may sound strange, but I was totally taken aback by what happened. In the first week of my release, I hit the comic fiction charts on Amazon.com. I even nabbed a “hot new release” spot in the category.

TFC Hot New Release

I take screenshots of my book because I’m a nerd.

And when I thought my five minutes of fame was over, you started sharing the news of my book. Amazon took over and the book just kept growing. It’s still growing. As of today, THE FOURTH CHANNEL is in the Top 5 Comic Fiction chart on Amazon, and the Top 50 Contemporary Fantasy (for the last week it’s been ping-ponging between #35 and #41). I’m nowhere near being a New York Times Bestseller, but I don’t give a crap. I’m on a list in the middle of Sookie Sackhouse, Iron Druid, and Dresden Files! I never dreamed of this, guys. NEVER.

I’m trying to figure out a way to express just how grateful I am, but the best I can offer is a thank you from the bottom of my heart.

So, thank you.

Along with that, I have another favor to ask. I need more reviews on my book, especially on Amazon.com. If you’ve read THE FOURTH CHANNEL and enjoyed it, would you please take a few minutes to pop over to Amazon and leave a review? It would help me a lot. Just click on Kari & Stubby below to go to the TFC page on Amazon.com.

TFC Cover

Click me!

A few of you have been asking about a sequel. Yes, I’m working on a sequel. I’m still in the early stages of writing, so I don’t want to say much about it yet, but I’ll be sure to fill you in when we get closer. The book starts two and a half months after TFC ends. Hopefully in the next book we’ll answer the biggest question on everyone’s minds:

Will Mikelis’s knives ever get wrestling names?

You’re just going to have to wait and find out.

Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss January 2013

By Jen Posted in Sci-Fi Pinups6 Comments
20 Jan

Pin Cushion Hey gang, I apologize for the lack of updates. January has been a crazier month than I had expected. If you want to hear from me more often, I’m active on Twitter, and I’m also putting more effort into my Facebook page. Facebook is a little weird though, so if you want to follow me there, you’ll have to click the “like” button AND click the setting that subscribes you to all of my updates.

I have so much to tell you and I plan to give you a full update soon. In short, things are going well, especially with my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL. And I couldn’t have done it without you guys. I’m on top of the world right now.

Speaking of my book, it’s brought some new folks to the blog! So before we move on, I want to say welcome to all of the new readers. I’m thrilled to have you here. I hope you enjoy what we have in store for you.

Now, it’s a new year and that means a whole new calendar of hot science fiction and fantasy pinups. And we’ve got a whole new sexy pin-on-pincushion photo.

You’re welcome.

If this is your first time joining us for the sci-fi pinups, feel free to peruse the previous months via the link under “Categories” on the sidebar. And forgive me for all of the puns you’re about to see.

And now, without further ado, let’s introduce this month’s pinups!

Miss January is hypnotic and robotic, coming to us from the far future. Though she was originally created to help wipe out humanity, you can forgive her for that because she’s super hot. Also, she’s capable of ripping your head off with her bare hands. Best not to anger her. She is…

Terminator Cameron - Sarah Connor Chronicles wallpaper

…Cameron, the T-900 Series Terminator from The Sarah Connor Chronicles!

Miss January’s turn-ons are kicking ass, taking names, shooting people, breaking legs, and guys named John Connor. Her turn-offs include people trying to kill John Connor, unless she was reprogrammed by Skynet, in which case it’s not being able to kill John Connor. Also, she hates people trying to steal her leather jacket. I wouldn’t try it if I were you.

If you head out on the town with Miss January, remember to bring your laptop and an iron-clad escape plan.

For more of Miss January, watch this tribute video from one of her fans. Warning: bad music ahead.


Mr. January also has a nifty suit, but it’s not exactly a hyperalloy endoskeleton. Some crazy aliens gave it to him as a gift. While it can grant amazing superpowers to its wearer, Mr. January lost the instruction manual. Oops! Mr. January’s turn-ons are flying in a straight line, crash helmets, and saving the world. Turn-offs are bad guys, crashing into everything, and aliens who won’t give him a second copy of the instruction manual. He is…

The Greatest American Hero!

…Ralph Hinkley from The Greatest American Hero!

Honestly, I had to pick Ralph Hinkley at some point, because this show was a big inspiration for my novel. True story. A guy who has no idea how to use his superpower and must learn through trial and error? Absolutely. I heard Nathan Fillion would be interested in starring in a reboot of this show.

YES PLEASE.

If you head out on the town with Mr. January, I suggest hitting the hair salon. Because, sadly, not even a crazy awesome super-suit can fix that crazy pubic hair on his head.

For more on Mr. January, here’s a fan-made montage. For those who have never seen the show, it’s a little long. For those of us who love it, it’s a bit of nostalgia.


If you’re enjoying the site, subscribe for more! The RSS link is in the sidebar, and you can also connect with me on Twitter and Facebook. You can also pick up my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL, about a comically bad necromancer and her talking sacrificial knives.

Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney. →

Dreamwalker Mad Lib Style Game – Completed!

By Jen Posted in Mad Mashups18 Comments
3 Jan

Dreamwalker Cover This week, we started a new series inspired by “Mad Libs.” It occurred to me, two days later, that I never explained to you what “Mad Libs” are. Most of you knew. Some of you, surprisingly, did not.

Here’s how the game is played: I pick an excerpt from a book and remove a handful of random words. Without showing you what the excerpt is, I tell you what kinds of words I need. You give me words, which I then place into the paragraph. Then you read it. If the words are good, it’s funny and we play again.

The book we used for this round is called DREAMWALKER by Angela Wallace.

I really like this fun, fantasy novella, and I think you will too—so much that I am giving away a copy. Everyone who participated in the comments section is eligible to win, unless they specifically opted out.

We assigned every commenter a number, in the order that they posted. Random.org gave us our winner… (drum roll)…

…M. Shane McNally!

Congratulations, M. Shane! Check your email because I need to know if you would like a Nook or Kindle version of DREAMWALKER.

Onto the game! The words you submitted were:

Dreamwalker Game Words

And I plugged them into the story, just so. Enjoy!

Dreamwalker Game Part 1
Dreamwalker Game Part 2
Dreamwalker Game Part 3

Nice work on this, everyone! The first post is now the most commented post on my blog. Yep. It even beat The Relic. Never thought I’d see that. All in all, I think this “Lib” came out rather well—and now that we’ve done our first one, I know what to do differently. Next time I’ll ask for more specific “fun” words, like animals, body parts, and the like.

Also, since “Mad Libs” are a trademark, we’re going to need to come up with our own name. You guys may have to help me out with that one. Give me some substitutes for “mad” and “libs” and we can cobble something together.

EDIT: It was brought to my attention that I accidentally omitted the action word “slaughter.” For that reason, I will use that word in our next “Lib” and Lark Midstone (clearly a code name – whoever could he be? LOL) can also submit a second word. Sorry about that.

If you would like a copy of DREAMWALKER, it is available as an ebook at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

About DREAMWALKER:

After Lexa’s comrade died saving her life, she retired from the special forces and retreated to a sanctuary in the mountains. A year later, war is brewing with the neighboring country, and Lexa discovers a threat even the army can’t stand against–a dream assassin. As the only other dreamwalker in known existence, Lexa returns to the capital of Artasia and her old post to protect her country’s leaders. But is the cocky, mysterious dreamwalker who seems to be stalking her the true mastermind? Or is something even more sinister threatening not just Artasia, but the dreamscape as well? As Lexa fights to protect those she loves, she discovers a power that can transcend worlds, and a destiny she never could have imagined.

Readers keep turning the pages for “intrigue,” “romance,” and more of Lexa and Dirk “trying to beat the crap out of each other.”

Thanks for playing everyone!

If you like what you’re seeing here at JenKirchner.com, you can subscribe for more: the RSS link is in the sidebar, and you can also connect with me on Twitter and Facebook. You can also pick up my new book about a comically bad necromancer and her talking sacrificial knives. THE FOURTH CHANNEL is available as an ebook on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble. →

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