Six Things I Want You To Know

Oscar Check it out guys: this makes my fourth straight week of blog posts. I’m en fuego.

I honestly didn’t think I could do it. I had promised you a regular schedule a few times before but failed epically. I’ve gotten over the hump and I have to admit this is a lot more fun than I thought it would be. And, to put the cherry on top of the proverbial sundae, two of my blogging peers rewarded my efforts by giving me awards!

Ladies, and Gents, I am… (drum roll)

The Versatile Blogger!

I think that’s because I went full-on Star Trek nerd and then turned right around and talked about reading a book. I don’t know. But many thanks to Angela Wallace and Laird Sapir for giving me this award. It made me feel terrific.

The awards that I received had the same name, but the icons and “obligations” for the recipient are different. Apparently the original award mutated into separate strains and now they’re converging here on my website.


It’s a well-known fact that blog awards are a lot like chain letters; if you don’t tell everyone a list of random crap about yourself and give the award to 72 other blogs, then your toenails will fall off, every food will taste like Spam, and you’ll have a bad sex life forever.

Don’t misunderstand me: receiving these awards really made my day. But unless one of you is the keeper of the Bridge of Death, you don’t need to know my favorite color.

Though you might need the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.

I just think that these awards, as well-intentioned as they are, make blogs a little unfocused. And that is why I am changing the awards and telling you:


1. There’s been a lot of confusion over the kind of fiction I write. Because of my Vote Your Adventure series, there’s a misconception that I write horror. (Apparently “The Relic” scared a few people.) I don’t write horror. Not at all. My regular fiction is all the intensity of my Vote Your Adventure series plus the humor of my blog posts. Combine those two things together and you’ve got my novels. The reason my VYA’s came off so strong is that these are abbreviated web stories. I was trying to get your attention. Hopefully my blog posts give you a more well-rounded idea of what my brain can do.

It’s as crazy as it sounds.

2. I wish I’d stop telling you guys that I’m absolutely going to do something or absolutely not going to do something — like I’m going to blog twice a week or I’m not going to release my necromancer novel or I’m sick of our demon-infested, post-apocalyptic, Vote Your Adventure world. Because shortly after I claim these absolutes, I have to eat my words.

I’m eating my words on all three of those statements.

3. I really want to write a new Vote Your Adventure story. Now that my mojo is back, I have so many ideas! I really would like to kick off the new year by giving you guys a chance to redeem yourself in “The Mark II” or some such. Unfortunately I’m having a great time blogging right now and I can only do one at a time. I’m sure you understand. My blog posts are long and take a lot of time to write and I am not so naive as to think this is the only blog you read. So I don’t want to chase you off by blogging too often, either.

I want to give you another shot at a VYA, but for now it’s going to have to wait.

4. A few of you have been asking to see my longer fiction. A few months ago, I said that the novel I had been working on was going away for personal reasons, never to see the light of day, maybe even to die in a fire… you’ll never get to see it, nanny-nanny-boo-boo. I received a few complaints about that decision, and I don’t blame you for being upset.

The Fourth Channel is back on the table. It’s currently in the editing stage and I expect it to be available to you this summer.

Yes, this is the novel about the world’s worst necromancer and her crazy talking knives. It’s back and you can have a copy soon. The book is currently going through my Elite Critique Chicks, then it goes to The Editor. We’re searching for possible cover artists. As we get closer to the release, I’ll be sure to update you. I’m very excited to present this book to you. I think you’ll enjoy it.

5. The Editor installed an email subscription system on my website. Shortly after, we realized the program emailed the entire blog post. I don’t like that. I want you to come to my website because I’m selfish for your attention. Therefore, we canceled the email subscription. Sorry. However, I don’t want to make this difficult because I know there are a few of you still stuck in the 1990’s and like email subscriptions and have no idea what RSS is. (You know who you are. We still love you.)

So if you want to subscribe via email, fill out the little “contact me” box in the sidebar and, in the message box, write “Subscribe via email.” And then whenever I write a blog post, I will send you an email from an address that appears computer-generated, and I’ll have some sort of message that makes you think I’m totally a web service and not me at all.

Do I offer great customer service, or what?

6. My favorite colors to wear are navy blue and red.

Will I get tossed over for having two favorite colors, bridge-keeper?

Published by Jen Kirchner

I write funny things.

15 thoughts on “Six Things I Want You To Know

  1. That was seriously way too much information that I needed to know! 😛

    Jus’ kiddin’! :
    It’s much better that you’re blogging and then doing the VYA later. Doing it this way should help from the burn out monster.

    Looking forward to the book! 🙂


  2. Thanks for coming clean with us, chicka! 😛 Btw, you can eat your own words as much as you want to, and change your own mind as often as your clothes. You’re an arteest! No worries!

    Can’t wait to read your book! 🙂


    1. Thanks! I’m feeling pretty excellent about the whole deal. Especially RSS.

      VYA = Vote Your Adventure. But you knew that. You were just testing us or something. 😛


  3. I am seriously stoked for the world’s worst necromancer and her talking knives. And I agree with Candice – eating our words is what we arteeests do.

    And yeah. Someday I’ll get around to dealing with the whole RSS thing. Someday.


  4. Congrats on your achievement pop-up!!!
    (Just imagine a gong noise and a small window opening up on your screen with “The Versatile Blogger!” written in bold letters and some crazy hand typing on a keyboard as a symbol” hehe

    If you keep writing…. (ahem) and getting better, we’ll keep reading. true story. 😉


  5. So it’s half way through the month and I’ve been waiting patiently for miss February… you know… nudge nudge, hint hint, wink wink, know what I mean? is she a goer? SAY NO MORE!!! 🙂


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