Welcome back to another exciting installment of pinups! In case this is your first time with us, this is the time of month when we pour through an enormous list of candidates in the science fiction and fantasy world and pull out two jaw-dropping hotties you wouldn’t kick out of bed for eating soylent green.
Catch up by checking out the chestilicious Januaries, the out-of-this-world Februaries, our digitally delicious Marches, ass-kicking Aprils, the mega Mays, our juicy jugs Junes, the (time) jumping Julys, our outlaw Augusts, our smoldering Septembers, and our ominous Octobers.
Or just ignore my idiotic puns and click the link in the sidebar.
You probably noticed that I missed the November pinups, and for that I am truly sorry. In case you hadn’t heard, I finally released my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL, about a comically bad necromancer and her talking sacrificial knives! I am disappointed that I had to skip the blog post, but it was for a good cause. Hopefully Mr. & Miss December make up for the drought of sci-fi hotties.
So without further ado, here they are!
Miss December is the perfect woman, scientifically speaking, and her native tongue is as divine as she is. When she’s not dropping in on you, she’s out saving the universe from great evils. Unfortunately, that means she’s only employed once every five thousand years, so if you want to be her sugar daddy you’re going to need a long-term savings plan. Alternatively, you can try to find a way to stick her back in her sarcophagus until her skills are needed again. She is…
…Leeloominaï Lekatariba Lamina-Tchaï Ekbat De Sebat, AKA Leeloo Dallas Multipass from The Fifth Element!
Miss December’s turn-ons are uncouth cab drivers, snacking on whole cooked chickens (delicious!), and beating everyone up. Her turn-offs are idiots who don’t know how to make fire, wind, water, or earth.
Congrats to Miss December! Here’s a little bonus video of the iconic “Multipass” scene.
Mr. December is also an old fart, though you’d never know it by looking at him. After spending a few years in cryogenic freeze, he’s all thawed out and ready to kick some butt! He’s also ready to knit you a sweater. His turn-offs are criminals who wear muumuus and slippers, and a world where there’s no swearing or physical contact and the only restaurant is Taco Bell. Turn-ons are kicking ass and taking names. He is…
…John Spartan from Demolition Man!
If you head out on the town with Mr. December, bring a flak jacket, extra ammo, and condiments for your rat burgers. You may also want to bring a wad of paper; he doesn’t know how to use the three seashells.
Here’s a bonus clip of the hilarious “three seashells” scene.
Hope you enjoyed this month’s pinups! We’re going to continue these into next year, and from now on I’ll post them much earlier in the month, rather than wait until the end.
On a personal note, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has supported me so far with my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL. It’s been an amazing release, and I am absolutely stunned by the response. I’ve been floating around the top 20 ranking on Amazon.com in the “comic fiction” category, which I didn’t expect at all. I’m just so excited. Thank you so much, guys. If you haven’t yet picked up a copy of the book, click the link on the top bar. It’s available as an ebook at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble. My amazing artist, Amber Shah, is working on the cover for paperback, and I expect that version to be available very soon.
Thanks again for your support. You guys ROCK!
Don’t forget to come on back Monday, because we’re kicking off a new series that I think you’re going to love. No spoilers—you’ll just have to see for yourselves. So subscribe: the RSS link is in the sidebar, and you can also connect with me on Twitter and Facebook.
Pincushion photo courtesy of Steven Depolo.