Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss February 2013

Pin Cushion It’s time to announce the Sci-Fi pinups of February—and just in the nick of time, since there are only a few hours left in February. Choosing this month’s leading pair was tougher than I expected. With so many sexy hunks and gorgeous hotties to interview, this was no quick and easy decision. I’ve been swimming in hunks and hotties, working my way to the top of the list.

It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it.

Our first order was choosing our Mr. February. He’s a distinguished and adventurous man, someone who has seen firsthand the perils of space travel, as he lives and works there every day. (That’s because he’s trapped on a spaceship and can’t escape.) Mr. February’s looks will appeal to all, with his shiny, hard body, shirtless and glistening in oil. And he smells like gumballs. Sexy. What Mr. February lacks in height he makes up in personality and color. He is…

Tom Servo

…Tom Servo from Mystery Science Theater 3000!

Mr. February’s turn-ons are being told that he’s tall, pretending that he’s tall, and when everyone else walks on their knees. Turn-offs include mad scientists who force him to watch terrible movies and mad scientists’ mothers who force him to watch terrible movies. If you want to take Mr. February out on a date, you’re screwed because he’s stuck in space. You’re better off putting a poster of him on your wall and calling it good.

And now, for a bonus—here’s Tom Servo’s theme song!

And now, allow me to introduce you to Miss February! She’s beautiful, feisty, and too hot to handle. Literally. She might melt your skin off. But don’t let that dissuade you—she really is a sweetheart, and I know she’d feel badly about it afterward. Miss February spends most of her time fighting evil and saving the world from certain doom. Well, except for that one time when she single-handedly brought about Armageddon, devastating the earth with her hotness. And by hotness I mean awesome pyrokinetic powers. But like I said, she felt really, really badly about it after. She is…

Liz Sherman

…Liz Sherman from Hellboy!

If you head out on the town with Miss February, take a fireman’s jacket and a fire extinguisher. And a pair of adult diapers. Here’s a shot of Miss February in action. Skip straight to the 1:45 mark to see her hotness in action. And by hotness, I mean face-melting. If she were in a duel with the Ark of the Covenant, I’m not sure who would win.

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Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney.

Published by Jen Kirchner

I write funny things.

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