Modern magic. Comedic chaos.

Get in, losers, we’re going to Mordor! (AKA: The Life RPG)

Jen Kirchner· August 11, 2025· [general]

Is your life feeling stagnant? Maybe you’ve got a list of goals you wish you could complete, but you can’t motivate yourself to do it? Or maybe adulting is too boring for you? Then grab your sword and shield pen and paper, adventurer! Join me on a journey of growth, enlightenment, leveling up, and, of course, QUEST REWARDS! I call it “Life RPG.”

It’s not actually a new concept. You’ve probably heard it called “gamification” because everyone seems to want to “gamify” everything. But that word’s a mouthful, and I always find it confusing. So I’m calling it “Life RPG.”

I started my Life RPG a couple of months ago after a couple of my projects hit major snags that meant I wasn’t going to achieve my biggest yearly goals. I had six months left in the year, and those goals felt impossible. My morale tanked, and I felt a little lost. When the dust settled and I was able to look in the rearview mirror, I realized that this hadn’t been the first time I’d missed big goals. In fact, I’d missed them a lot. All the time. Every year. My approach wasn’t working.

I realized that I needed a different way to approach my life and goals. Something more sustainable. Something that’s actually fun. So I sat down and mapped out my personal Life RPG.

I’ve been doing this for over a month now, and it’s already been life-changing. I can’t stop talking about it. (My friends are sick of hearing about it.) I fill up progress bars, complete quests, earn rewards, and work my way toward enormous goals.

If you’ve got a mountain of aspirations, or you just want a little more fun in your life, come join me in the Life RPG.

PART ONE: QUICK START

The TL;DR

One does not simply choose quests haphazardly. One also does not simply choose to work on a dozen goals at the same time. Doing so will bring about your gruesome and untimely demise!

So here’s the quick start section. My Life RPG is simple and fits on two A5 pages (or one letter-size page divided into two sections). As you can see, I am currently a Life Level 1 noob. (I should probably come up with different funny classes as I progress. There are funny class generators for this, after all.) I have five character stats, and they all start at level 1. Each stat is attached to a quest. When I complete a quest, I level the corresponding stat to 2 and get a specific reward for my efforts.

In order to reach Life Level 2, I have requirements listed: all stats must reach level 2, and I have to publish an Interns novelette that I’ve been working on.

Open journal image of two pages with Jen's level 1 stats on one side and some notes, and her quests and quest rewards on the other.

I chose this simple system because I’ve seen other gamification that’s incredibly ambitious, enormous, and unwieldy. Some people level up their stats separately from their overall life level—it’s a ton of stuff to do and keep track of, and it looks like too many things to focus on. If you’re familiar with goal setting, you know that’s not always the best method unless you’re comfortable spending a long time completing those goals and maintaining your own motivation. I wanted a simpler system that I could complete a little more quickly. After all, this is supposed to be fun.

So, how to get started? Well, you need a dream—your own mountain where you’ll slay a mighty dragon and claim its enormous treasure hoard! And then you’ll need to back up a few steps and come up with smaller quests that will take you ever closer to your epic destination. No, you cannot just go straight to the mountain and slay the dragon. Because you are a level 1 noob, armed only with a pool noodle. Facing the dragon right now would be suicide.

So, first things first. We’re going to envision your destination—the enormous mountain where all of your dreams await—and then figure out how to level up along the way, so that when you reach the mountain, slaying the dragon and carting off its wealth will be easy.

PART TWO: DEFINE YOUR MOUNTAIN

So tell me what you want, what you really really want…

  • The Spice Girls, because I couldn’t think of a better quote to go here

The best way to define your mountain is to dream big. Real big. Ask yourself: Where would you like to see yourself in a year, or five years, or just sometime in the distant future? If you could change anything about your life right now, what would it be? Do you have any “bucket list” items?

Grab a piece of scratch paper and a pen, set a timer for 5 minutes, and then write your dream list. Go ham. Let your thoughts run wild. Or run weird. Let it all out, and be absolutely honest about what you want.

Once you’re done, read over your list and cross off the stuff that you aren’t super sincere about. Do you really want to become a rock star? Maybe you just want to travel and have better hair. Or maybe you just couldn’t think of anything at first and writing that down helped uncork your brain-bottle. Rewrite the list. Add more things if you need to. You can have as many things on this list as you want. (My list has eight things.)

Yes, you’re halfway to a vision board here. These dream items await you on the enormous mountain in the distance. Do not lose this list. We’re going to break these down into simpler quests and receive rewards for accomplishing them.

But you must choose what to focus on first.

PART THREE: NARROW THE LIST OF GOALS

Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count… Five is right out.

  • Second Brother, Monty Python and the Holy Grail

You’re about to embark on a long adventure toward an enormous mountain in the distance where all of your dreams will be realized! But where to start?

Choose a maximum of three goals to focus on. Think about how busy or chaotic your life is and what other commitments you have. If you’re busy and tired, choose just one. The other goals can wait.

So, choose one, two, or three big goals to focus on. People too often choose more and fail the journey before they even begin. They’re destroyed by monsters along the way or simply abandon everything out of overwhelm.

I know what you’re thinking: only working on one or three goals sounds super lame. And yeah, it sure does sound lame—until you’ve tried it*.* Forget what the number sounds like. Working on four (or more) life goals at the same time is a red-con boss monster, and it will wreck you.

Here’s a handy guide to what awaits you depending on how many goals you choose:

One goal is facing a single enemy. Daunting, but doable. This monster isn’t as smart or strong as you, but it stands a head taller and wields a club the width of your thigh. With focus, you can dodge many of its attacks, land hits on its weak spots, and defeat it without even the use of a single health potion. You won’t be defeated unless you decide to pull a Rumplestiltskin and take a long nap at its feet. Its rewards are meager, but after you pick this monster’s raggedy pockets clean and treat yourself to a refreshing stamina potion, you will feel invigorated and prepared to attack your next goal!

Two goals is an evenly matched fight. It will take some effort to defeat, and you may even be injured. Your success is not ensured. You might need a healing potion. This foe will surely take you longer to defeat than you wanted, and your stamina and morale will suffer a debuff. But when the fight is over and you walk away victorious, you will feel the glory of success and revel in your rewards! Then you’ll probably take a short vacation to the elven lands for a week or two, soaking in their springs and eating their divine foods. After a well-deserved vacation, you will surely be refreshed and ready for your new set of goals!

Three goals is quite a gamble. This enemy is higher level than you, stronger than you, quicker than you, and might even cast a spell or two at you. You will need to put in some real effort—and a few health potions—to beat it. Be prepared for this to take a lot of time and result in injury. But when the fight is over and you limp away victorious, sucking on another health potion and looking for a place to camp to recover your faculties, you will feel the glory of success and revel in your rewards. Whenever you run your finger across the battle scars from this encounter, you will remember the fight with pride. And a little fear. Forget about recuperating in the elven lands for a week. You’re going to need an experienced cleric and a soft bed. Hope you have a lot of gold because none of that is cheap.

Four (or more) goals is death. This enemy might even have one or two crowns above its health bar. It spawns friends and regenerates its health and shields multiple times during the fight. You will need a cleric or necromancer to revive your sad, pathetic corpse once or twice so that you can continue the fight. A bored bard might stand in the background, singing songs of your anti-prowess and taunting you to run away—and you’ll start to think they’re right. If you manage to defeat this enemy, you will drag your bleeding and broken body to a campsite to recharge, all while begging for a local mage to summon your mother. At some point in the future, you will think upon this encounter with a shudder and caution in your heart, and you will probably never do it again.

Now look at your list and choose wisely. No more than three!

PART FOUR: QUESTS! MEASURABLE AND ATTAINABLE

One does not simply walk into Mordor.

  • Boromir, The Fellowship of the Ring

Now that you’ve identified your initial goals, it’s time to plot a course—and craft some quests! Remember, you’re only level 1—before you reach the mountain, you need to level up, gain some skills, get some new gear and weapons, and increase your stats.

Your quests should start small. Get a baseline. Look at the goal(s) you’ve chosen and break them down into small, doable quests. Some of your big goals may result in several little quests. Again, think about your time and energy commitments and select accordingly. Don’t give yourself too much to do.

Equally important is that these quests should be actionable, measurable, and attainable. Each quest should have a progress bar attached to it. Every time you complete a quest—gather a thing, escort an NPC, kill an evil goblin—you will take your pen and make an X in your progress bar, pushing you forward. Quests need to be things you’re capable of doing. If one is too hard, then grab your correction tape and change the requirements so it’s something you can actually do.

Yes, I had to use correction tape with my level 1 quests. I had level-100 aspirations with only level-1 skills.

So, design some quests for yourself based on your chosen goals. For example:

All of these quests should directly support the goals you’ve chosen—and no others. It’s a rookie mistake to make quests that don’t directly point to your goals. If all your goals relate to your physical fitness, but you’ve snuck in some quests that aren’t related, then those quests need to go.

It’s another rookie move to create quests that conflict with your goals. If your goal is to save money, but you’re making quests that require buying lots of frivolous and unnecessary stuff, then you’ve already failed. I know this sounds really stupid, like duh, but you’d be surprised how many people do that.

I’ve done it. A lot.

Make sure your quests are all moving you toward the big dream goal you’ve chosen. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself stuck in place and wondering why you aren’t making progress.

PART FIVE: QUEST REWARDS!

Look, I ain't in this for your revolution, and I'm not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid. I'm in it for the money.

  • Han Solo, Star Wars: A New Hope

With every quest completion, there are always rewards. The rewards can be whatever you want them to be. They can be the proverbial carrot on a stick or just a way to give yourself a present for a job well done. Employ whichever reward method works for you.

But Jen, I hear you saying, I’m an adult, and I can buy myself cool things whenever I want! Not anymore, friendo. Now you’re a noob who uses sweet, sweet quest loot to spur you on to greatness. From now on, if you see something you want, and it’s not required for your life, it goes on a list for quest rewards.

Just in case it needs to be said, do not make your quest rewards the things you need for a healthy day-to-day life, like food and water. If you need gas in your car to get to work, then gas is not a quest reward. These things are necessities. But renewing that My Little Pony subscription? Them’s quest rewards, friend. And I know you want it bad.

Sit down and think about what rewards you really want. Attach a juicy little reward to each quest. Rewards can be big or small. I like to reward myself with takeout dinners or desserts. Or a new pair of yoga pants once I make it through my treadmill goal. A small stationery haul. A vacation day. A new book. A video game day (don’t judge me).

Your rewards can be anything as long as they’re meaningful to you.

PART SIX: MAKE IT REAL. DRAW YOUR LIFE RPG PAGES

...When people call people nerds, mostly what they’re saying is, ‘you like stuff.’ Which is not a good insult at all, like, ‘you are too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness’.

  • John Green

You have all you need to get started. The last step is to draw your pages. Do not skip this step. The quest tracker and progress bars aren’t there just to secure your nerd cred. We use them because they’re visual, and that’s very important.

Many RPGs have an active quest list with some kind of progress bar or progress tracker. When your character progresses on a quest, the progress bar moves forward. We’re motivated to fill that progress bar and get the reward.

Likewise, each of your quests should have a progress bar attached to it. If you’re required to do something ten times, fifteen times, twenty times—whatever the number—there should be a dedicated space to mark each time you perform the task. Every time you work toward a personal quest, you make an X on its progress bar. It’s important to see how far we’ve come, how far there is to go…

…and the sweet, sweet rewards we’ll get in return.

It’s also a way of keeping your big dream goals in sight. Sometimes when you’re in the thick of your quest grind, you can get discouraged. But the visual trackers will remind you of your bigger goals—the dream list, the reason you’re doing this in the first place—and that your goals are not impossible. There’s a reason you’re doing all this, and someday you’re going to reach the mountain of your dreams, slay the dragon, and seize the treasure. And that’s worth the journey.

Let’s level up.