Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss October 2017

Welcome back to the Sci-Fi Pinups! After a long hiatus, I’m back in action — so get your engines ready for this month’s hotties. If you’re new to the pinups, welcome! This is the monthly segment where we feature our favorite characters from all corners of science fiction and fantasy, whether they’re a triple-breasted Martian babe, the Hoff in a Speedo (you’re welcome), or a dude who summons a demon apocalypse because he can’t remember the words.

I do it because I care.

If you like what you see, subscribe to my email list and receive more crazy-hot monthly pinup action. Probably more crazy than hot. You’ve been warned.

So let’s get to it!

Mr. October is a vehicle enthusiast who dabbles in extreme ride-pimping. (Xzibit ain’t got nothin’ on this pinup!) Mr. October spends his time going back to the past and then backtracking to the future. He’s also an avid inventor, hoping to one day create a “golden ticket” invention to bring fame and fortune. In his free time, he likes to play pranks on the Libyans.

When you’re out with Mr. October you’ll think you’re on the road to adventure! But remember: wherever Mr. October goes, you won’t need roads.  He is…

Doc Emmett Brown from Back to the Future!

Mr. October enjoys walks by the clock tower, flux capacitors, and going precisely 88 miles per hour. His turn-offs include short extension cords and people who meddle with the future. Mr. October was named one of The 100 Greatest Movie Characters of All Time, coming in at #20, but this month he’s #1 in our book.

And now for Miss October!

Since we celebrate Halloween this month, I had to cast this Scream Queen as our leading lady. She’s a shy, All-American, midwestern girl who prefers books to chasing boys. She also has a teeny-weeny sibling rivalry problem. But don’t let that scare you off! Sure, she may have poked her brother’s eye out with a coat hanger, shot him, stabbed him a few million times, and also decapitated him, but Miss October is lovely.

Initially she’ll seem like the quiet type, but once her lungs get warmed up, you’ll change your mind about that. In fact, after a night out with Miss October, you should call your physician to get your eardrums checked out. She is…

Laurie Strode from the Halloween franchise!

Miss October’s turn-offs include psychopathic brothers, stalkers, and getting stabbed all the time. (So annoying, am I right?) If you score a date with Miss October, remember that you won’t be alone, so wear a comfortable pair of shoes. As the old saying goes: as long as you can outrun your date, you’ll be fine!

If you want a little more of Miss October, you’re in luck — she’s coming back for another Halloween movie in 2018!

Thank you for joining me for the return of the Monthly Pinups! For more pinup action, please subscribe. You can find the link in the sidebar.

For those long-time readers who may be wondering: the answer is YES, I’m back. I’ve recently made some big changes that allow me to focus on my writing, and I have some news to share. (Yes, Kari Hunter is coming!)

I can’t wait to tell you all about it. Stay tuned and Happy October, everyone!

Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss January 2014

PinCushionHappy New Year, gang! I’ve returned to trot out a new year of sci-fi and fantasy hotties. If this is your first time joining us, welcome! The Sci-Fi Pinups is the monthly segment where I scar you for life with photos of hot space dudes in metal bikinis, three-breasted Martian hookers, and the Hoff in a Speedo.

Somehow, you guys keep coming back for more eye-searing action. (I’m beginning to worry.)

I hope you’re ready for the new year. We’re going to dive right in with the music edition! This month, we’re featuring the songs you know and wish you could forget love.

Miss January comes to us from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. As soon as you’re in her presence, you won’t be able to help but notice her lips and legs that seem to go for miles. She’s performed for tough audiences on planets everywhere, but currently rocks the house on Tatooine, delighting crime lords, bounty hunters, and scoundrels encased in carbonite.

She is… Continue reading “Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss January 2014”

Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss November

Pin Cushion Stop your grinnin’ and drop your linen—it’s time for the Sci-Fi Pinups!

If this is your first time joining us, welcome! This is the monthly segment where we celebrate the hunks and hotties of the science fiction and fantasy world—the strong men and women with the guts, guns, and green skin to prove they’re the best and baddest. They ain’t your momma’s pinups.

Unless you have my mom. She’s pretty awesome.

For more pinups, check out our previous submissions.

Since I’m late on the pinups once again (gah), let’s just jump right into it!

Miss November hails from good, normal British stock—and don’t you dare look down on her for that. She’s loyal, brave, and is a fast draw with her wand. She can do everything a boy can do, except figure out a magic spell for manageable hair. When you’re in a jam and don’t know how to get out, never fear—her love of libraries has made her brain an encyclopedia! There’s never a problem she can’t solve with her books and big noggin. But before you scream, “Nerd alert!” let me assure you that she’s seen quite a few fights and never backs down from anything or anyone. The only thing bigger than her heart is her patronus.

She is…

Hermione Granger

…Hermione Granger from Harry Potter!

If you’ve never heard of Miss November, you must have been living under a rock for the last fifteen years. You should make yourself acquainted with our Miss November immediately! She’s strong, she’s brave, and she’s smart—everything we like in our sci-fi ladies. None of that whining, crying, hiding under the bed for her! And if you try that kind of behavior in her presence, she’ll pull you out by your hair and turn you into something awful. Believe me, she can do it.

Here’s a little more in case you can’t get enough of Miss November:

Moving on!

Mr. November comes to us from Astoria, Oregon. Like Miss November, he’s locked and loaded and always packing for a fight. At first glance, you’ll think he’s dressed like a young flasher-in-training, but once he shows you what he’s packing under his trench, you’ll change your mind faster than you can say “Pincers of Peril.” When the chips are down and his crew’s in danger, he’ll stand in the gap and whip out his contraptions. Hopefully they won’t punch him in the face first. Mr. November sticks with his friends to the end and never says die.

He is…

Data - The Goonies

…Data from The Goonies!

I realize this movie’s super old and you probably haven’t seen it in a long time, but it’s so good. And Mr. November is great! He uses his brains and his heart to overcome adversity… and score some pirate treasure.

In case this just isn’t enough of Mr. November for you (of course it isn’t!) here’s a little more:

Thanks for joining me for another month of Sci-Fi Pinups. I hope it brought you a little smile. If you like what you see and want a little more, pick up a copy of my bestselling comic urban fantasy novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL.

Subscribe to the site for more! The links are in the sidebar, and you can follow me on Twitter and Facebook.

Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney. Continue reading “Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss November”

Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss September

Pin Cushion Grab your 20-sided dice and a giant bag of Funyuns—it’s time for the science fiction and fantasy pinups of September! If this is your first time joining us for the pinups, welcome! This is the monthly segment where we ogle two hot specimens that will certainly set your phasers to stun, if you know what I’m sayin’!

Yeah, I don’t know what I’m saying either.

Anyway, the pinups are hot and ready for action! If you’d like to catch up on previous pinups, click the Sci-Fi Pinups link in the sidebar. (Our list of hotties started in January 2012, so if you want to peruse you’d better go to your bunk.)

Miss September is the girl next door from the rainy city of Seattle. She’s so adorable and such a sweetheart that you’ll offer to hack into the school computers to raise her grades. But don’t let her catch you doing it—her high moral standards will make you change it right back. Her turn-ons include talking computers, leg warmers, and bombing Las Vegas. Turn-offs include global thermonuclear war.

She is…

WarGames - Jennifer

…Jennifer Mack from War Games!

Isn’t she adorable? I confess, this month’s female pinup was largely inspired by the book Ready Player One, a must read for nerds like me. There are a ton of ’80’s references and trivia, and War Games gets a major shout out. (Not going to spoil it for you, so if you want to know more, click the link and read the book!)

And now, here’s a clip of the iconic scene that shows Miss September (and Joshua the computer) being adorable.


Shall we play a game?

And now for Mr. September! He was born on a battlefield, and the lust for adventure and mayhem took hold of him right from the womb. His days are spent wandering around the land, enjoying local cultures and making friends—and then pillaging the towns, strangling their kings, and becoming their ruler. That’s ambition, ladies! His turn-ons include oiled biceps, leather codpieces, and the lamentations of women. Turn-offs include nothing. Mr. September is always on.

He is…

Conan the Barbarian

…Conan the Barbarian! With sword placement that isn’t at all phallic!

If you head out on the town with Mr. September, bring your sword and your loincloth and prepare for a night of romance and pillaging.

As an added bonus, a very talented individual created Conan the Barbarian: The Musical! It’s a song from Conan to you. Pay special attention to the 2:09 mark for the best part of the song. Seriously. I watched that part ten times and nearly died laughing.

Thanks for joining us for this month’s pinups! If you like what you see and want a little more, pick up a copy of my bestselling comic urban fantasy novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL.

Subscribe to the site for more! Link is in the sidebar, and you can follow me on Facebook or Twitter. Next week, we’ll post another episode in our “Choose Your Own Adventure” style story, THE CURE. So stick around for more!

Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney. Continue reading “Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss September”

Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss August 2013

Pin Cushion Welcome back to another episode of science fiction pinups, the monthly segment where I reveal my ancient age by featuring old and obscure characters you’ve probably never heard of but really should know.

In related news, get off my lawn.

If this is your first time to the site, welcome! There are more pinups every month, and you can find other humor and satire in the other categories. At the moment, we’re running a Choose Your Own Adventure-style story where you choose the next step. It isn’t comedy, but it is exciting. And, of course, you’re welcome to join in the fun. So stick around! If you like what you see and want a little more, I also wrote a bestselling comic urban fantasy novel.

And now, without further ado, let’s announce the pinups!

Mr. August is a rags-to-riches story of a not-so-humble man who became a professional wrestler and then a porn superstar. After that, his ascension to President of the United States was practically guaranteed. He’s a man of the people, working hard to cure the problems of his mighty nation.

He is…

President Camacho House of Representin

President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho from Idiocracy!

In case you’re wondering, that’s an action shot of Mr. August giving his State of the Union Address at the House of Representin’.

Mr. August’s turn-offs are water, when everyone’s sh*t gets emotional, and reading. His turn-ons include the smartest person in the world doing his job for him, crushing the smartest person in the world with monster trucks when he isn’t doing that job fast enough, and Brawndo the Thirst Mutilator—it’s got electrolytes!

I went looking for some videos of Mr. August in action, but most of the videos have been removed due to copyright. However, I found something almost as good. Funny or Die has published new speeches by President Camacho.

Please be warned, these are not safe for work – they contain profanity… and a little insanity.

http://www.funnyordie.com/embed/23018ada16

Welcome to Costco. I love you.

Miss August is a hottie out to save the world. She stands for what’s right and isn’t afraid to kick a little ass—even if she isn’t wearing pants. Demons don’t scare her, nor does darkness nor mortal danger. All she wants is to save a child from the minions of hell and have peace on earth. Nothing can stop her… save for being tied up in toilet paper.

She is…

Kee Nang - The Golden Child

…Kee Nang from The Golden Child!

Miss August’s turn-ons include goofy men who like kids and not getting killed. Her turn-offs include kid-snatchers, demons who can’t pronounce the letter “j,” and toilet paper.

Here’s a video of a pantsless Miss August in action:

Thanks for joining me for another episode of sci-fi pinups! To catch up on previous pinups, check out the link in the sidebar. And don’t forget, next week we’ll have the next episode of our Vote Your Adventure story, THE CURE!

Subscribe to the RSS feed in the sidebar, or follow me on Facebook or Twitter.

Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney. Continue reading “Sci-Fi Pinups: Mr. & Miss August 2013”